Wednesday, March 21, 2012

You've Got a Friend in Me!

When I was a fat girl, I didn't have many friends. To say I was anti-social is an understatement. For a while I battled PPD after the birth of my first child, which just made it worse. I had friends, don't get me wrong, but very, very few. I'm talking 2 friends. I lived in the same place for 6 years and had 2 friends. I could count on one hand the people that I actually knew in town. For the first few years of my son's life, I was scared to go outside my home by myself. I forced myself to do it, to go out and be among people, but it was really hard for me. Even just for doctor appointments (which was constantly with my son) and the weekly trips to Walmart, I was so uncomfortable. I hated going anywhere without my husband to hide behind. I was ashamed of myself for looking the way I did. I was afraid of the judgement that people are so harsh with. I will be the first to say that I see it. I see the judging eyes, the internal thought process someone goes through when they see me. It was either "there's another fat girl" look, or they just literally didn't even look at me. Like I turned invisible. No one talked to me unless they bumped into me. I closed myself off other than for these two people in town that I adored (and still do!). They got to see the changes in me throughout my process, and were with me every step of the way.

When I looked like this though

...You can't imagine how hard it was for me to try to make friends. I just wanted to be normal. There was even a person who "knew" me, but didn't even get the chance to get to know me because of the way I looked. She only really saw me after I changed, and that really hurt me. People do that and they don't even realize it. Once I dropped the pounds dropped I suddenly became "visible" to the rest of the world! I wasn't prepared for that.

One of my friends who has been there since the beginning of time! I love you, Heather! Sometimes, friendship defies time zones, moves across country, and around the world. She's been there (literally) through thick and thin! Still loves me for who I am, and that, my dear readers, is rare and hard to find. Hold onto people like that for dear life.

Moving to Okinawa, I had this entire new world opened up to me. It was a fresh start, and for the first time in my adult life, I had more than 2 friends at a time. Right now, I have more than a handful of friends! Thanks to Pinterst, people randomly walk up to me and ask me if I'm "that chick from Pinterest who lost all the weight". Real ice breaker, I'll tell you that. I still tend to be a little anti-social, and I'm working on that. I have an issue with talking to people sometimes, or I revert to my PPD days and want to hide behind my husband. I'm trying very hard though, and I've made a lot of progress since I've been here. I've been in Okinawa for 10 months now, and I have 2 girls who are like sisters to me here, and a big handful of people that I'm really close to.

Here is one of them, Kayti. She inspires me so much! She's pretty much the light of my life. She eats healthy, works out with her kids, and just totally rocks as a mom and wife. It's awesome to have people who have the same kind of lifestyle as I do. That has been so important to keeping me on track, being around people like her who also value healthy living.

What I'm trying to say here is that you should do what I did, and close yourself off to the world. You may just find your own best friend who motivates you and pushes you. I had a friend like that back in North Carolina and she really did wonders for me. I could vent to her while we walked our kiddos around the base. She listened to a lot of crap that I was going through, and she was so supportive. Other than her and another person there, I totally closed myself off. Don't do that. Let people in and let them help you. If you can't find that person, then try online support groups. I have my own online support group on Facebook and they are all amazing women. Find people who make you want to be like them, while you also find yourself.



  1. Hi dear Mandy! First - sorry for my English, it is not my language :-)
    I am following your blog for few months. And I wish to tell you, how much it is inspiring me and it makes me to hope, I also can do it.
    I am a mum of two - 5 y and 8 months - and I have still 20 kg too much. I decided to start with working out and eating regularly (eating healthy is no problem) and quick sugar (that is actually a problem to me :-)
    In this time, your blog is a big support for me! So thank you and write please more about your experiences!
    I did a menu plan and a fit plan for my fridge. My blog is in Czech language, but you can have a look here:
    Have a nice day! Sonja

  2. Manfy would you please email me? I would really really appreciate it.

    1. Good lord, I'm sorry I meant Mandy. Lame auto correct on my phone.

  3. Hi Mandy-
    I found your blog a few weeks ago and have quietly been following. I just wanted to say thanks for sharing this. I am just getting started on a 100lb weight loss journey with no support. I have one friend but like you did, she has never seen the real me becaus eI feel like the real me is trapped in this fat person who cannot express herself cause people won't see past the fat. Anyway I am glad I found your blog and thanks for sharing you journey!


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